January 25, 2017, 12:00 AM

The Things That Did Not Happen

OK, I confess—I knew better, but I did it anyway. In our apartment in Suriname there was a crack where the ceiling joins the wall, and I wanted to caulk it to keep the dust from falling from the attic into the rooms below. I needed a ladder, but did not have one and did not want to go borrow or buy one.

So, I improvised. I stacked two plastic trunks and used that makeshift stool to reach the area that needed to be caulked. I knew it was unsafe—definitely not OSHA approved—but I was just trying to get the job done.

I was on the very last area to be caulked when it happened…nothing. In spite of my, ahem, stupidity, nothing bad happened (other than a couple of cracks in the top of the trunk I was standing on). I did not fall and break a leg or an arm. Instead, I finished the job, put up the caulking gun and the trunks, and voilà, done.

Oh, by the way, did I tell you about the time I was held by rebels for three days without food or water? No, because it did not happen.

Or the time our plane ran out of fuel and we had to make an emergency landing in the jungle? No, because it did not happen.

What about the time my wife was in the hospital for a week with malaria? No again, because it did not happen.

Without further belaboring the point let me just say, “Thank you, Lord, for all the things that did not happen.”